Living Outisde the Lines

On Wednesday night, I went to "Living Outside The Lines: St. Louis Discusses Gender Variance," a panel discussion on Transgender Issues. It was part of a series on health care issues, called "Inside Out" and although some of the panelists had horrendous stories about their experiences of being badly treated by health care providers it was about a whole lot of transgender issues. I was in awe of the panelists who were funny, vulnerable, wise people.

The thing that amazed me the most was how sure they were of who they were, sure enough that they would make almost any sacrifice to live into that identity. Some of them, in pursuing their identity had lost children and parents and partners, jobs, friends and insurance. One of them, the partner of a person who had transitioned from Female to Male, talked frankly about how she had had to reimagine her own identity as her partner transitioned. The moderator was a nurse practioner from Southampton Healthcare (2340 Hampton AvenueSt. Louis, MO 63139(314)647-2200.) She was funny and wise, moved the conversation along, affirmed the bravery of the speakers, some of whom were coming out as transgender for the first time and was generally a gracious facilitator in every sense.

Just before the panel started I visited the room in the basement of the Mildred Lane Kemper Art Museum at Washington University which used to be labelled "Ladies" or maybe "Women" but which now says "Restroom." There were quite a few other people coming and going from the room, some of whom, looking at the other people there, were not at all sure that they were in the right room. Striding out of the restroom door I ran into a person who appeared to be a straight white male who seemed rather alarmed to see a straight white femle coming out of a restroom he was planning to enter. Also entering was another person whom I would have classified as a straight white female who was saying to a friend, in a puzzled tone, "This USED to be a ladies' room." It was a good prelude to the panel, a reminder of what it feels like for some Trans people to have to choose between the Ladies' Room and the Men's Room and to feel unwelcome in either and of how deep seated society's gender assumptions and expectations are.

For a short annotated bibliography on Transgender issues, visit Left Bank Books . Visit and support them anyway, because they are a great independent bookstore.